Today is my husband's birthday. I wish for him a magical time for 2 reasons. 1) this is the last birthday of his 30's; and 2) this is his last birthday as a carefree guy with fairly minimal responsibilities to just me, work, the house and the dogs. Pretty soon, he will be a Dad, and everything will be different.
Hope you are enjoying your day, Sweet. I love you!
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Excuse Me, a What Plan??
Good thing I don’t make any claims about being hip or on top of the latest trends. I do tend to think of myself as being well-informed on national and global events, thanks to NPR and various online news outlets. I am up to date on medical advances, techniques, and drug approvals; I am fairly well acquainted with recent book best-sellers and sought-after novels; I am getting up to date on organic and pesticide-free gardening thanks to many online forums and some magazines that I read. There are probably a host of other timely things I am familiar with, but just cannot think of at that moment. However, I couldn’t tell you who are the hottest Hollywood stars or describe for you the haute couture of the season. I don’t really know the most popular restaurant chains or trends in gourmet cooking. I am not familiar with all the counter-culture or grass roots movements. In short, there are things I know and things I don’t. Just like everyone else on the planet, right?
And up to this point, this has never been a problem for me. I am interested in a certain things and have never much been bothered by what fashionable buzz I don’t know. I really don’t care what Paris Hilton wears to nightclubs or who she is dating, and life without this knowledge carries on fairly well. However, I suspect now that there are some things to which I should be making myself aware, attributable to a recent encounter at the doctor’s office. This personal popular culture/trend deficit became blazingly obvious to me at one of my recent OB appointments when the receiving nurse asked me if I had crafted a birth plan yet. Not really missing a beat, I responded in the most natural way for me:
“Sure, I plan to have a healthy baby.”
The nurse looked at me in a funny way and said, “No, I mean, do you have special instructions for the doctor when you are giving birth?”
I guess I looked perplexed, because she immediately piped up, “Some women request special music to be played or they bring a specific item to focus on during labor.”
Ok, so, I was perplexed. I had not heard of this before, nor had I thought about it for myself. Special music? Really? I guess I have an antiquated idea (by this point) in my head about childbirth. I just assumed that I would go to the hospital when the time comes, have some labor, it will hurt, and then the baby comes out. I was not aware that a “scene” could be created, complete with pre-determined ambiance for my child’s entrance into the world.
Since this embarrassing encounter with the nurse – although when I discussed this with the doctor, he dismissed it as nothing important and we had a whole conversation about natural labor versus epidural and the possibility of C-section if that becomes necessary – I have done some serious research into the so-called Birth Plan. Apparently, some women and their partners come prepared with written instructions on how the whole thing should go down. I presume that most of the time, things go well, and a plan can be followed. Of course, worrier that I am, my brain mulls the possibility of unpredictable things happening during labor. I have heard enough stories about labor progressing only so far, after which an emergency C-section must be performed for the safety of the mother and infant. That would be my luck. But back to the Birth Plan.
Not only can there by music and dim lights, but there are birth coaches, doulas, midwives, water birthing centers, birthing balls. I admit to being aware of home births and birthing chairs (these I have seen at museums, usually in the Middle Ages wing). I will not disparage anyone’s choices, but honestly, home birthing in modern times is associated (in my mind) with a certain fringe element of the population that distrusts the medical establishment, government, any food not organically grown, vaccines for their children, and organized religion. Clearly, I am not a part of said element. I am planning to breastfeed, however, and we will be using cloth diapers, so I think I score some points on those items.
Anyway, the Birth Plan looks like a written list of instructions for everything from fetal monitoring to labor induction to what to do with the baby immediately after it is born. Some of the instructions on sample Birth Plans I read are a bit confounding and weird, though:
“I do not want any kind of anesthesia offered to me during labor, though I would like it available if I specifically request it.” (Why can’t you just say no if offered?)
“I would prefer to keep the number of vaginal exams to a minimum.” (Isn’t it kind of important to monitor how the cervical dilation is going?)
“I prefer to risk a tear rather than have an episiotomy” (Are you kidding me? Ouch!)
“I would like to wear my own clothes during labor and delivery.” (Could be restrictive, no?)
“If I am less than five centimeters dilated and my water has broken, I would like the option of returning home.” (Really? Doesn’t seem like a good idea to me if the water is broken.)
“I would like no one to speak during the actual delivery.” (Who are you, TomKat and the Scientologists?)
“I would like to catch my baby and pull it onto my abdomen as it is born.” (Sounds like you need to do a serious crunch to make that happen.)
“I would like the option of taking home the placenta.” (Wow, that’s gross.)
I found the research fascinating, to be frank. I read every on-line forum and chat room I could to glean information on what the latest trends are for Birth Plans. I read parenting magazines that I avoided for most of the pregnancy and even read that awful book, What to Expect When You’re Expecting. Although I was skeptical, as it turns out, I also will have a Birth Plan!
Because I am considered a “high risk” maternity patient, C and I are electing to play it safe and go to the hospital for the birth. We are requesting that my OB do whatever is necessary to ensure the safety of the baby, and this can include fetal monitoring devices, IV fluids, a C-section if necessary, vaginal exams, and the use of interns and specialists, if needed. Also, since we are planning to collect and bank the cord blood, I have to write that down, as well. So, not all is lost, you see. I will be part of this trend in my own little way. Wish me luck!
And up to this point, this has never been a problem for me. I am interested in a certain things and have never much been bothered by what fashionable buzz I don’t know. I really don’t care what Paris Hilton wears to nightclubs or who she is dating, and life without this knowledge carries on fairly well. However, I suspect now that there are some things to which I should be making myself aware, attributable to a recent encounter at the doctor’s office. This personal popular culture/trend deficit became blazingly obvious to me at one of my recent OB appointments when the receiving nurse asked me if I had crafted a birth plan yet. Not really missing a beat, I responded in the most natural way for me:
“Sure, I plan to have a healthy baby.”
The nurse looked at me in a funny way and said, “No, I mean, do you have special instructions for the doctor when you are giving birth?”
I guess I looked perplexed, because she immediately piped up, “Some women request special music to be played or they bring a specific item to focus on during labor.”
Ok, so, I was perplexed. I had not heard of this before, nor had I thought about it for myself. Special music? Really? I guess I have an antiquated idea (by this point) in my head about childbirth. I just assumed that I would go to the hospital when the time comes, have some labor, it will hurt, and then the baby comes out. I was not aware that a “scene” could be created, complete with pre-determined ambiance for my child’s entrance into the world.
Since this embarrassing encounter with the nurse – although when I discussed this with the doctor, he dismissed it as nothing important and we had a whole conversation about natural labor versus epidural and the possibility of C-section if that becomes necessary – I have done some serious research into the so-called Birth Plan. Apparently, some women and their partners come prepared with written instructions on how the whole thing should go down. I presume that most of the time, things go well, and a plan can be followed. Of course, worrier that I am, my brain mulls the possibility of unpredictable things happening during labor. I have heard enough stories about labor progressing only so far, after which an emergency C-section must be performed for the safety of the mother and infant. That would be my luck. But back to the Birth Plan.
Not only can there by music and dim lights, but there are birth coaches, doulas, midwives, water birthing centers, birthing balls. I admit to being aware of home births and birthing chairs (these I have seen at museums, usually in the Middle Ages wing). I will not disparage anyone’s choices, but honestly, home birthing in modern times is associated (in my mind) with a certain fringe element of the population that distrusts the medical establishment, government, any food not organically grown, vaccines for their children, and organized religion. Clearly, I am not a part of said element. I am planning to breastfeed, however, and we will be using cloth diapers, so I think I score some points on those items.
Anyway, the Birth Plan looks like a written list of instructions for everything from fetal monitoring to labor induction to what to do with the baby immediately after it is born. Some of the instructions on sample Birth Plans I read are a bit confounding and weird, though:
“I do not want any kind of anesthesia offered to me during labor, though I would like it available if I specifically request it.” (Why can’t you just say no if offered?)
“I would prefer to keep the number of vaginal exams to a minimum.” (Isn’t it kind of important to monitor how the cervical dilation is going?)
“I prefer to risk a tear rather than have an episiotomy” (Are you kidding me? Ouch!)
“I would like to wear my own clothes during labor and delivery.” (Could be restrictive, no?)
“If I am less than five centimeters dilated and my water has broken, I would like the option of returning home.” (Really? Doesn’t seem like a good idea to me if the water is broken.)
“I would like no one to speak during the actual delivery.” (Who are you, TomKat and the Scientologists?)
“I would like to catch my baby and pull it onto my abdomen as it is born.” (Sounds like you need to do a serious crunch to make that happen.)
“I would like the option of taking home the placenta.” (Wow, that’s gross.)
I found the research fascinating, to be frank. I read every on-line forum and chat room I could to glean information on what the latest trends are for Birth Plans. I read parenting magazines that I avoided for most of the pregnancy and even read that awful book, What to Expect When You’re Expecting. Although I was skeptical, as it turns out, I also will have a Birth Plan!
Because I am considered a “high risk” maternity patient, C and I are electing to play it safe and go to the hospital for the birth. We are requesting that my OB do whatever is necessary to ensure the safety of the baby, and this can include fetal monitoring devices, IV fluids, a C-section if necessary, vaginal exams, and the use of interns and specialists, if needed. Also, since we are planning to collect and bank the cord blood, I have to write that down, as well. So, not all is lost, you see. I will be part of this trend in my own little way. Wish me luck!
Friday, June 12, 2009
Up in Smoke?
Well, it looks like it’s poised to happen, folks. The USFDA is very close to being handed the reigns to regulate tobacco products. The vote in the Senate yesterday is being hailed as “historic” and well, that sounds a little overly dramatic, but if the House votes the same way today, then FDA will have been granted expanded powers. Is this a good thing or not? Let’s do some analysis, shall we?
What I do for a living is interact with FDA on behalf of my employer, Big Evil Pharma (BEP), and negotiate with them to get new drugs approved. I do not claim to be an expert on FDA regulations for every office, and there are 4: human drugs, medical devices, animal drugs, foods and cosmetics. My area of expertise is in the human drug arena, which is exactly where tobacco products will be regulated.
FDA has come under some serious criticism in recent years (recall Vioxx, please) for being too lax and “industry-friendly”. One of my favorite criticisms I hear from people not in the pharma industry is, “Big drug companies have FDA in their back pocket”. Not hardly. I can assure you that since Vioxx, the Agency pendulum has swung so far in the other direction, it’s practically crippling to the drug industry in some cases. I am not sure about foods, but a recent case is telling.
In May, FDA issued a Warning Letter to General Mills stating that they are making unapproved drug claims on Cheerios with regard to lowering cholesterol. I think the Cheerios claim is something like, “Lower Your Cholesterol in 4-6 Weeks”. FDA allows for what are called “approved health claims” on certain foods, and the one GM was trying to invoke (I think?) is soluble fiber from whole grain oats is associated with a reduced risk of coronary heart disease (21 CFR 101.81). But since it is not written that way on the Cheerios cereal boxes, FDA has drawn a hard line in the sand and called their cereal messages “unapproved drug claims”. Now, I think most reasonable people can understand that Cheerios are not a drug, and it was probably never the intent of GM to market them as such. But the law is the law, and the Code of Federal Regulations is the law.
As I understand the tobacco ruling, FDA will not be permitted to ban combustible tobacco, but they will have the authority to regulate ingredients, formulations, packaging and advertising – all things they have power to do now with drugs, devices, foods and cosmetics. Curious that they cannot impose an outright ban like they can for other dangerous drugs, but ok, I understand the power of Big Tobacco. Critics assert that FDA does not have the necessary resources to handle this. I would like to remind the reader that Congress has granted FDA approval to increase what are called “User Fees” on an annual basis for almost the last 20 years. FDA charges industry something like $900K now to review new drug applications, and by 2010, that fee will be over a million bucks. Industry pays a lot of cash to get into the queue for FDA review (not necessarily approval), an activity for which FDA never assessed a charged prior to the early 1990’s. FDA made the case to Congress that the fees were needed to hire more qualified people to keep the machine running and keep the American public safe. That request was granted and they never looked back. My guess is that the tobacco industry will have to pony up just like the drug industry has. I’ve got no problem with that. My guess is money and resources are not going to be a barrier in the long run to regulation. Perhaps initially there will be a lag, as they gear and staff up the office, but those positions will be filled and there is money to do so.
Proponents of FDA regulation of tobacco claim there are many merits. Two of the most obvious are 1) Reduction of medical spending. According to the American Lung Association, the federal government spends $22 billion on smoking-related illnesses (1). That’s a lot of tax dollars right there. 2) Curbing the appeal of smoking to children in the hopes of actually reducing the number of kids who start the habit in the first place. This would be great, although I’m not so sure how it will work. As it is now, tobacco ads do not run on television, I think billboards advertising tobacco are gone, and I certainly don’t come across magazine ads for smokes anymore. So, where exactly are kids getting the idea to smoke if exposure has become so limited? Home? School? I think we’ve all seen the thetruth.com ads on TV, and they are pretty powerful. To be clear, however, all other nicotine-containing products like gum, patches, lollipops, etc. are regulated as drugs by FDA.
Another, more political criticism, is that this is just another example of big government intrusion into our lives, curtailing our liberties. Well, curtailing our ability to kill ourselves slowly and painfully, you might say. I can understand (but not entirely agree with) the hysteria. Several places have outlawed the use of trans-fats in prepared foods. It gives the appearance of a freedom-of-choice slippery slope.
I am curious as to what my friends on the left think. Especially those who still smoke. Do they see this as big brother tightening his grip on our civil rights? Does this move open the door for government to tell us what to eat, smoke, wear, see, do, speak? Since left-of-center minded folks generally do not oppose (support, even) more regulation (think guns, banking, healthcare) I wonder if they will feel differently about this case since they are directly and perhaps adversely affected. Comments welcomed.
(1) - American Lung Association, 2004
What I do for a living is interact with FDA on behalf of my employer, Big Evil Pharma (BEP), and negotiate with them to get new drugs approved. I do not claim to be an expert on FDA regulations for every office, and there are 4: human drugs, medical devices, animal drugs, foods and cosmetics. My area of expertise is in the human drug arena, which is exactly where tobacco products will be regulated.
FDA has come under some serious criticism in recent years (recall Vioxx, please) for being too lax and “industry-friendly”. One of my favorite criticisms I hear from people not in the pharma industry is, “Big drug companies have FDA in their back pocket”. Not hardly. I can assure you that since Vioxx, the Agency pendulum has swung so far in the other direction, it’s practically crippling to the drug industry in some cases. I am not sure about foods, but a recent case is telling.
In May, FDA issued a Warning Letter to General Mills stating that they are making unapproved drug claims on Cheerios with regard to lowering cholesterol. I think the Cheerios claim is something like, “Lower Your Cholesterol in 4-6 Weeks”. FDA allows for what are called “approved health claims” on certain foods, and the one GM was trying to invoke (I think?) is soluble fiber from whole grain oats is associated with a reduced risk of coronary heart disease (21 CFR 101.81). But since it is not written that way on the Cheerios cereal boxes, FDA has drawn a hard line in the sand and called their cereal messages “unapproved drug claims”. Now, I think most reasonable people can understand that Cheerios are not a drug, and it was probably never the intent of GM to market them as such. But the law is the law, and the Code of Federal Regulations is the law.
As I understand the tobacco ruling, FDA will not be permitted to ban combustible tobacco, but they will have the authority to regulate ingredients, formulations, packaging and advertising – all things they have power to do now with drugs, devices, foods and cosmetics. Curious that they cannot impose an outright ban like they can for other dangerous drugs, but ok, I understand the power of Big Tobacco. Critics assert that FDA does not have the necessary resources to handle this. I would like to remind the reader that Congress has granted FDA approval to increase what are called “User Fees” on an annual basis for almost the last 20 years. FDA charges industry something like $900K now to review new drug applications, and by 2010, that fee will be over a million bucks. Industry pays a lot of cash to get into the queue for FDA review (not necessarily approval), an activity for which FDA never assessed a charged prior to the early 1990’s. FDA made the case to Congress that the fees were needed to hire more qualified people to keep the machine running and keep the American public safe. That request was granted and they never looked back. My guess is that the tobacco industry will have to pony up just like the drug industry has. I’ve got no problem with that. My guess is money and resources are not going to be a barrier in the long run to regulation. Perhaps initially there will be a lag, as they gear and staff up the office, but those positions will be filled and there is money to do so.
Proponents of FDA regulation of tobacco claim there are many merits. Two of the most obvious are 1) Reduction of medical spending. According to the American Lung Association, the federal government spends $22 billion on smoking-related illnesses (1). That’s a lot of tax dollars right there. 2) Curbing the appeal of smoking to children in the hopes of actually reducing the number of kids who start the habit in the first place. This would be great, although I’m not so sure how it will work. As it is now, tobacco ads do not run on television, I think billboards advertising tobacco are gone, and I certainly don’t come across magazine ads for smokes anymore. So, where exactly are kids getting the idea to smoke if exposure has become so limited? Home? School? I think we’ve all seen the thetruth.com ads on TV, and they are pretty powerful. To be clear, however, all other nicotine-containing products like gum, patches, lollipops, etc. are regulated as drugs by FDA.
Another, more political criticism, is that this is just another example of big government intrusion into our lives, curtailing our liberties. Well, curtailing our ability to kill ourselves slowly and painfully, you might say. I can understand (but not entirely agree with) the hysteria. Several places have outlawed the use of trans-fats in prepared foods. It gives the appearance of a freedom-of-choice slippery slope.
I am curious as to what my friends on the left think. Especially those who still smoke. Do they see this as big brother tightening his grip on our civil rights? Does this move open the door for government to tell us what to eat, smoke, wear, see, do, speak? Since left-of-center minded folks generally do not oppose (support, even) more regulation (think guns, banking, healthcare) I wonder if they will feel differently about this case since they are directly and perhaps adversely affected. Comments welcomed.
(1) - American Lung Association, 2004
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Ok, so another blogger that I follow already posted something similar to this topic, but please allow me to expound on it: Facebook. Who doesn’t have an account by now? Oh, C for one, and another good friend (MC, I’m calling you out here), but practically everyone else I know does. When I first joined about a year ago, I thought it was great fun to look up people from childhood and others I may have lost on the way. Admittedly, I’m not too active confirming people. I generally wait until they find me. I’m not sure why. There are some cases where I just have to be proactive, but it’s not frequent.
Lately, I’ve received lots of requests for friendship confirmation and I just let them sit there on my home page for a while. Some have been there for months. The more I think about it, the weirder it is to “confirm friendship” with someone you haven’t spoken to in 20 years or more. I’m not saying I’m opposed to it – my list of FB grammar school friends is a loud signal that I’m happy to reconnect with people from the past. But there are some confirmations I’m not so sure I really want to make. It’s pretty silly to hold grudges for more than, let’s say, 10 years, right? I mean, I should just get over it by now, yes? And what about those that I don’t confirm? I guess it becomes evident to them at some point that I’d just rather not be bothered, right? Clearly, I’ll never be one of those people with 300+ “friends” on FB.
What’s worse is that sometimes I feel absolutely no connection with those I’ve confirmed and so I question myself as to why I confirmed in the first place. I read their updates daily and think to myself, “I do not find this person interesting at all”. The common thread we share may have been college, high school or workplace, but if I didn’t speak to them when we were in college, high school or the workplace, what is the point of being “friends” on FB? I never comment on their status, write on their wall, send drinks or quizzes, or give a care, really, about what they’re up to now. It feels mean and that sort of bothers me. Like I’m some kind of FB snob. I think it’s really just malaise and/or apathy.
And of course, there are always those people with whom you do reconnect, read their pages and then become depressed. As in, “Omg, my life is so boring in comparison”. In case you didn’t get the memo, I’m not a world traveler, jet-setter, notable author, hot button issue activist, or NPR interviewee. I’m so *yawn* by contrast. The upside is that most people are fairly interesting, the same, and on the same level. I do admit that I love being shocked with good stuff, though. Here’s an example: some sisters that I used to babysit for found me on FB and we caught up. I can’t help but always think of them as the 4 little girls down the street. But, alas, they are all grown, married and mothers. I think there are 8 or 9 kids between them, some as old as 16! I was just blown away by that. Probably because I’m so old having my first child. But you know, surprised nonetheless.
I definitely embrace the merits of social networking sites like FB, and I genuinely like going on there at least once a day to see what’s up with my regular circle of friends and family. I don’t know that I’m looking for any sort of affirmation or critique here, more like a mind dump on the topic. Comments are, of course, always welcomed.
Lately, I’ve received lots of requests for friendship confirmation and I just let them sit there on my home page for a while. Some have been there for months. The more I think about it, the weirder it is to “confirm friendship” with someone you haven’t spoken to in 20 years or more. I’m not saying I’m opposed to it – my list of FB grammar school friends is a loud signal that I’m happy to reconnect with people from the past. But there are some confirmations I’m not so sure I really want to make. It’s pretty silly to hold grudges for more than, let’s say, 10 years, right? I mean, I should just get over it by now, yes? And what about those that I don’t confirm? I guess it becomes evident to them at some point that I’d just rather not be bothered, right? Clearly, I’ll never be one of those people with 300+ “friends” on FB.
What’s worse is that sometimes I feel absolutely no connection with those I’ve confirmed and so I question myself as to why I confirmed in the first place. I read their updates daily and think to myself, “I do not find this person interesting at all”. The common thread we share may have been college, high school or workplace, but if I didn’t speak to them when we were in college, high school or the workplace, what is the point of being “friends” on FB? I never comment on their status, write on their wall, send drinks or quizzes, or give a care, really, about what they’re up to now. It feels mean and that sort of bothers me. Like I’m some kind of FB snob. I think it’s really just malaise and/or apathy.
And of course, there are always those people with whom you do reconnect, read their pages and then become depressed. As in, “Omg, my life is so boring in comparison”. In case you didn’t get the memo, I’m not a world traveler, jet-setter, notable author, hot button issue activist, or NPR interviewee. I’m so *yawn* by contrast. The upside is that most people are fairly interesting, the same, and on the same level. I do admit that I love being shocked with good stuff, though. Here’s an example: some sisters that I used to babysit for found me on FB and we caught up. I can’t help but always think of them as the 4 little girls down the street. But, alas, they are all grown, married and mothers. I think there are 8 or 9 kids between them, some as old as 16! I was just blown away by that. Probably because I’m so old having my first child. But you know, surprised nonetheless.
I definitely embrace the merits of social networking sites like FB, and I genuinely like going on there at least once a day to see what’s up with my regular circle of friends and family. I don’t know that I’m looking for any sort of affirmation or critique here, more like a mind dump on the topic. Comments are, of course, always welcomed.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Hello After Long Absence!
I haven’t felt much like writing in the last few weeks. Hence, no updates. It’s not because there is a dearth of happenings, it’s just really come down to how I choose to spend my ever-shrinking free time. Lately, I choose reading over writing. I need to spread those activities out more evenly, to be honest, as I have much writing to do, here and otherwise. It’s just that every time I sit to write something, I get this weird feeling and then abandon the post. This time, I’m forcing through.
The month of May – a normally happy month (sisters’ birthdays, Mother’s Day, flowers blooming, Memorial Day Weekend) - was not so hot this year. I’m still not entirely balanced after the sudden death of one of my closest and oldest friends. Thinking about it too much makes my heart hurt and my head fuzzy. It’s as if I can’t really compute that he’s gone. I have many thoughts about this, but they are all over the place. Like post-it notes in my brain, and not quite ready to be sorted into logical word order. All I can muster at this time is this: the sense of loss is so different for me with Pat’s death than with any other I’ve experienced thus far, including my beloved grandparents. I think it’s fairly obvious that it’s because his death was unexpected, and he was young, whereas my grandparents were old, sick, and I had plenty of opportunity to spend time with them, say and do all the things I wanted to and thank them for their lifetimes of love and guidance. Moving on for now…
I haven’t been able to do as much gardening this year as in previous years. I’ve done a fair amount but I feel the beds are in bad shape. Relying on a hired guy to help with the mulching and such is not my preferred way of doing things. The few weekends we’ve had that weren’t rainy, he wasn’t available. Our annual Father’s Day BBQ is fast approaching, and we’re scheduled to have another party in July for friends, and I’m just worried. You’d think with a new baby coming in August, I’d be a bit less concerned about my flowers. I can’t help it. I have this vision of what my gardens will look like in a few years, and every Spring/Summer season is an opportunity to cultivate that vision more.
I’m thinking that I want a rain barrel or two and I need a new area for composting the flower bed mulch. Right now, the area where C composts the grass and leaves is running into my flower mulch, and while that’s not a terrible thing, I like the darker color of the flower mulch on the beds, rather than the brownish compost from the leaves and grass. I know that I won’t get to it this year, but if C or the hired guy can build me a large pen, we’ll be in good shape for next year.
Now is the segment where I complain about my job. Are you ready? You may not feel sorry for me, since I have a really “good” job by most (financial) standards, and let’s face it, in this current clime, there are few and far good ones out there. I know that when I took this job, I felt as if I had reached Big Pharma Mecca. You know, this company is practically revered by all kinds of Wall Street analyses, economists, working mother magazines and in general, by people who use our myriad of consumer and baby products. Let me set the record straight. This place is no heaven – it’s much closer to the fiery netherworld, to use such comparisons.
For example, I have survived 2 rounds of lay-offs only to emerge as the sucker who gets to do the job of at least 3 people. I was “approved” for a promotion in January – for the 2nd time in 2 years – only to be told that when it will come through is a mystery. So many other departments have to promote first, don’t I know? Since word got out that I’m out on maternity leave starting in August, cross-functional team colleagues have piled on the amount of work to an insurmountable level at this point. As if I am never coming back to the office. My favorite thing to quip lately in conversation goes something like this, “Well, you know that what you want me to do in 1 month’s time normally takes 3, but for YOU, I can do it! Sure, of course!” Otherwise, I am not a “team player”. I was recently told by my boss that we all must be careful about what and to whom we say “no” in the “team” environment. Are you kidding me? My actual job function is to provide guidance on federal regulations governing drug development, but I must be careful to whom I say “no”? This is like bizarro world. Believe me, I’m counting down until leave. Calendar says 37 working days.
Writing of maternity, things are well on that front. I have something like 60 days left until baby’s actual due date. I’m a bit scared. The nursery is coming along, and I will post some photos when it’s done. Last ultrasound showed her to be right on target for weight and development, for which we are so thankful. I am feeling great, actually, just moving slower than usual and feeling extreme fatigue on some days. As in, I can fall asleep sitting up at my desk. I have some other news on the pregnancy, which I will share in another post since this one is becoming too long, I fear.
The month of May – a normally happy month (sisters’ birthdays, Mother’s Day, flowers blooming, Memorial Day Weekend) - was not so hot this year. I’m still not entirely balanced after the sudden death of one of my closest and oldest friends. Thinking about it too much makes my heart hurt and my head fuzzy. It’s as if I can’t really compute that he’s gone. I have many thoughts about this, but they are all over the place. Like post-it notes in my brain, and not quite ready to be sorted into logical word order. All I can muster at this time is this: the sense of loss is so different for me with Pat’s death than with any other I’ve experienced thus far, including my beloved grandparents. I think it’s fairly obvious that it’s because his death was unexpected, and he was young, whereas my grandparents were old, sick, and I had plenty of opportunity to spend time with them, say and do all the things I wanted to and thank them for their lifetimes of love and guidance. Moving on for now…
I haven’t been able to do as much gardening this year as in previous years. I’ve done a fair amount but I feel the beds are in bad shape. Relying on a hired guy to help with the mulching and such is not my preferred way of doing things. The few weekends we’ve had that weren’t rainy, he wasn’t available. Our annual Father’s Day BBQ is fast approaching, and we’re scheduled to have another party in July for friends, and I’m just worried. You’d think with a new baby coming in August, I’d be a bit less concerned about my flowers. I can’t help it. I have this vision of what my gardens will look like in a few years, and every Spring/Summer season is an opportunity to cultivate that vision more.
I’m thinking that I want a rain barrel or two and I need a new area for composting the flower bed mulch. Right now, the area where C composts the grass and leaves is running into my flower mulch, and while that’s not a terrible thing, I like the darker color of the flower mulch on the beds, rather than the brownish compost from the leaves and grass. I know that I won’t get to it this year, but if C or the hired guy can build me a large pen, we’ll be in good shape for next year.
Now is the segment where I complain about my job. Are you ready? You may not feel sorry for me, since I have a really “good” job by most (financial) standards, and let’s face it, in this current clime, there are few and far good ones out there. I know that when I took this job, I felt as if I had reached Big Pharma Mecca. You know, this company is practically revered by all kinds of Wall Street analyses, economists, working mother magazines and in general, by people who use our myriad of consumer and baby products. Let me set the record straight. This place is no heaven – it’s much closer to the fiery netherworld, to use such comparisons.
For example, I have survived 2 rounds of lay-offs only to emerge as the sucker who gets to do the job of at least 3 people. I was “approved” for a promotion in January – for the 2nd time in 2 years – only to be told that when it will come through is a mystery. So many other departments have to promote first, don’t I know? Since word got out that I’m out on maternity leave starting in August, cross-functional team colleagues have piled on the amount of work to an insurmountable level at this point. As if I am never coming back to the office. My favorite thing to quip lately in conversation goes something like this, “Well, you know that what you want me to do in 1 month’s time normally takes 3, but for YOU, I can do it! Sure, of course!” Otherwise, I am not a “team player”. I was recently told by my boss that we all must be careful about what and to whom we say “no” in the “team” environment. Are you kidding me? My actual job function is to provide guidance on federal regulations governing drug development, but I must be careful to whom I say “no”? This is like bizarro world. Believe me, I’m counting down until leave. Calendar says 37 working days.
Writing of maternity, things are well on that front. I have something like 60 days left until baby’s actual due date. I’m a bit scared. The nursery is coming along, and I will post some photos when it’s done. Last ultrasound showed her to be right on target for weight and development, for which we are so thankful. I am feeling great, actually, just moving slower than usual and feeling extreme fatigue on some days. As in, I can fall asleep sitting up at my desk. I have some other news on the pregnancy, which I will share in another post since this one is becoming too long, I fear.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Dessert Therapy
Me and the baby in-utero are going to eat a bowl of chocolate ice cream when I get home. It's been a tough couple of days.
Monday, April 27, 2009
A HUGE Thank-You to the Readers!
To all those who came out to support the Hunterdon County Library Used Book Sale this weekend and to all those who so selflessly dedicate hours and hours of time in preparation for this monumental event. This weekend saw another great turnout for the largest fund-raiser that the library holds annually. Sunday was unusually busy with all kinds of buyers from the casual reader to book dealers. I cannot wait to find out the total amount raised, but if we can use the years past as a marker (and I think we can since most of the books for sale were a buck or two - a great deal especially in these economic times), we should have made somewhere just around 100K, give or take a few thousand. Yay for the library!
Also, it's pool weather 'round these parts. Whoever heard of 94 F on an April weekend in New Jersey??
Also, it's pool weather 'round these parts. Whoever heard of 94 F on an April weekend in New Jersey??
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